Why is it so difficult for a family caregiver to ask for help? A caregiver is a person who takes on the responsibility of caring for a family member such as a partner or a parent. Sometimes, caring for the loved one demands a lot of time and efforts from the carer who may accumulate fatigue and reduce social interactions over time. Taking on this journey can leave the caregiver exhausted and depressed. Indeed, it is commonly accepted that a family caregiver runs a greater risk of developing health problems himself/herself, or even of premature death. It is necessary for the caregiver to find a few moments of respite to recharge his/her batteries, in order to better continue to help the loved one on the long run.
Why don’t caregivers ask for help? One possible reason is because getting help from others would indicate that the caregiver has failed in his/her mission. Another one is fear of people’s reaction especially when these people have not gone through this same ordeals. A third reason is that the caregiver does not always realize that he/she needs help because he/she is slowly being worn down and does no longer have the ability to recognize the cumulative effects of the care.
A caregiver does not have to go down this path alone. Assisting the caregiver can start with family, friends and neighbors for daily tasks such as shopping, cooking dinner, doing laundry, or even driving the children to sports and appointments. Another possible solution is to have an open discussion about the situation of the care with the dependent person with the goal of developing solutions that would fit both of them. It may be easier to start with small changes, such as getting in touch with programs of assistance (e.g. Meals on Wheels) that do not necessarily require relinquishing control of care completely.
How would you help a caregiver?
-Jean-Marc & Mathilde Bonnemaison
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